[Smashy the Hammer] [An Aspiring Luddite]
I carry no phone
An aspiring Luddite
In a wired world.
[Jeff Berry]
Jeff Berry is an early adopter of the Internet and the Web, a late adopter of Twitter, and declines to adopt Facebook. With the death of Google+, he's experimenting with federated platforms. He admins a medievalist Mastodon instance, and can found on the PlusPora diaspora pod. He hates cell-phones.

Boobs and Guns
23 January 2013
[Women with Guns]

This is my wish for 2013 - More Boobs and Fewer Guns. Now I'm not saying there is a direct inverse relationship between boobs and guns. Far from it! It does seem to me, though, that we as a nation spend an awful lot of time, money and legislative agita on making sure that no boobs will appear on tv in primetime and very little about making sure that no guns will appear on the streets of our cities.

A few words of profanity or a couple of naked breasts will garner an R rating for a movie, but a wide variety of maimings and murders are deemed perfectly acceptable for the youth of our country to watch without adult supervision. I'm just sayin'.

Now, I'm not suggesting that more boobs equals less gun violence and fewer school massacres, but I might be suggesting that places that spend more time and energy worrying about controlling deadly weapons and less about controlling boob visibility do tend to have fewer mass shootings. England has more boobs on tv, and fewer guns on the street. And a per capita homicide rate of about one quarter that of the US. And one listed school shooting since 1950, wth seventeen dead. I got that from a a wikipedia page on school shootings. The US has it's own page for school shootings, and wikipedia tells me that since 1989 there have been forty school shootings. Now sure, the US is bigger than the UK and wikipedia may not be the most reliable source in the world, but ... I'm just sayin'.

I'm also unaware of any statute which condemns "assault with a deadly boob," or even "assault with two deadly boobs." We do have lots of regulations about who gets to look at boobs, though, and very few about who gets to look at guns.

I know, I know - nudity and profanity corrupt the moral character of our children, and start them down the road to paganism, drugs, crime and moral decay. I do wonder though which is more likely to negatively impact a child's future, the stray nipple striking his eye during primetime in his living room or a stray bullet striking his head during studytime in the classroom. Actually, I don't wonder - I'm pretty sure which one is worse.

More boobs and fewer guns. It's a simple idea. We can switch back when stories start showing up in the news about crazed people going on school rampages armed with their naked breasts.


© 2013 Jeff Berry
The Aspiring Luddite